Finding my way

So, here we are in June and so much has changed.

I no longer work at the green logoed supermarket. I applied for and got a job which could have eventually led me to my dream job of HCA. Healthcare Domestic in one of the local hospitals. I passed all the steps with flying colours - references, medical, criminal records checks.

I got a start date, handed in my notice and looked forwards to the next chapter with great enthusiasm.

The first couple of days were just induction info - things like Health and Safety, confidentiality and filling in endless forms. Then came the actual training on an empty ward. Learning all the various procedures and whatnots. Relatively simple really. Had a couple of mornings on a ward with a 'buddy' just to put it all into context. That was all ok.

Then came the allocation of my own ward. I was just dropped right in the deep end and left to manage on my own. The cleaning wasn't really the problem. That would have all fallen into place in time as I found my own routine. The problem I had was emotional.

 I'm not stupid, I knew that as it was a hospital there would be some very poorly people in there. But it was the particular ward I was given - the Stroke Rehabilitation ward- and I was emotionally unprepared for what I saw. It instantly brought up feelings that I thought I had dealt with about my Mum, Dad and other family members. I made it through the day somehow (along with a few panic attacks) and got home. As soon as I got in the door, I burst into tears and didn't stop crying till next morning. I had no sleep whatsoever that night, trying to work out what I was going to do. I eventually came to the decision that it was not the place for me. I did not make that decision lightly as I had left a job to do this but still I stood by my decision.

I went in that morning to tell them of my decision. They were surprisingly fine about it and accepted my resignation.


I am not looking at his as a failure but as a learning experience. I am not going to rush into just any job. I am going to use this time to discover what I really want to do with my life and work out where my strengths are and then use them.

New year, New start

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It has been a while (again!) since I last posted.


The few weeks before Christmas was hectic. School plays, works parties, Birthday parties, Pressie shopping and wrapping - oh, and the frantic cleaning and tidying before the family and friends start dropping by!

Christmas was good. Time for us all to be together. And we managed it without too much falling out. But, there did just seem to be 'empty space' where missing parents should have been. Though, I could hear my Mum muttering over my shoulder about the fact we managed to cook the turkey upside down!! New Years Eve was particularly sad. We had a 'wee dram' in my Dads memory, even though I can't stand Whiskey. Being Scottish, Hogmanay was the most important event for my Dad.


So along with remembering and relaxing, we got lots done too. My Studio is now FULL! And I do mean FULL!! All things are now moved out of the kitchen and in the studio and the computer and all its bits are now in residence in the cupboard where they should be. It took Husband-of-mine three days to get it all moved. The hardest part was drilling through the wall to re-route the phone cable for the broadband box. Two new drill bits later, he finally got through the wall! (walls in this house are impossible - even hanging a picture is a challenge!)

Now I just have to sort and clear out all the rubbish that I don't want to keep and then I can get all the books and wools and cottons and fabrics out there too. This year has to be the year I get started properly on making and selling. Husband-of-mine bought me a book for Christmas. 'How to start your online business'. So with having the Studio and the book and the support of my nearest and dearest, I have no excuse now.



NELLIEBRATIONS STUDIO IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!

Pictures to follow if Blogger will let me!

Sad news

Over the last couple of weeks, I have come here several times, logged in, and just stared at the screen. I have not really known what to write or how to start.

On the 14th of October my wonderful Dad passed away peacefully at his home with me there holding his hand. It is not something that I can put into words, how I felt in that moment - apart from it being a strange mixture of extreme sadness mixed with relief that his suffering was over.

Things moved on pretty quickly after that. Thankfully, the District Nurse had not long been in for her evening visit so she took over organising the GP to come to confirm the death and get all the paperwork I needed to register things so I could start to organise the  funeral.

I had to keep myself very focused to be able to get things done. It may sound hard and heartless but I could not allow myself to get upset or else I wouldn't have been able to get myself  or my kids through the couple of weeks that followed. I had to be able to keep going to be able to pack up and empty his flat. If it hadn't been for my wonderful, supportive Hubby, I wouldn't have been able to cope at all.

Three and a half weeks later, I am still finding things difficult. But, having three kids and a job mean that I have to just carry on and get back to 'normal life', whatever that is. There are still boxes of my Dads stuff sitting in the Living Room and kitchen. Boxes of photos sitting on the stairs, Bags of bedding sitting in the bedroom. But I just don't have the mental energy to start unpacking the things that I had to pack up just a couple of weeks ago and had not long before had to pack and unpack again after his move here.

Post is still coming in for him, and bills are getting paid. He squirrelled away some money to be able to pay for his funeral and his final bills. He had made sure I knew that money was there so that he left no financial burdens for me. That I thank him for. He looked after me for all my life and he made sure he left me no extra worries as to paying for things after he died.

I'm sure that things will get easier as time goes on but, as with my Mum, the good memories will always be there to help me get through the bad days.

Progress has been made!

The studio is now up!

 Progress!!


The exact time we decided to put it together, the weather took a turn for the worst and it hammered it down! The second we got the roof on, the sun came out and it turned into a really, really hot day! So it took a week to dry out inside before I could start doing anything inside. I was going to add some photos but it won't let me for some reason. I will add some another day and show the progress.

It has now been insulated(we can get some really cold winters here) with the polystyrene boards that you can use in attics. It is real good fun (not!) chasing round sweeping up stray polystyrene bits. And, today I got the underlay and bargain carpet (£4 from B&Q) laid. All by myself - arn't I a clever girl!!!


So I can now start to get the shelves up and furniture in ( this does involve a trip down to our dark, damp cellar *shiver*) and to evict the current residents of some of this furniture.  It's no use asking Son-of-mine to do it for me as he is a real Big Jessie so I will just have to do it myself! Me and spiders are not on good terms at all. I prefer to keep my distance from them. The first thing I will be doing every day I go in will be the 'spider sweep'!


So, now I will go and get myself some food as it is almost lunchtime. I am taking my Dad to Hospital today. His toes went black last weekend and he has had to wait a week for an 'urgent' appointment to see a Vascular Consultant at the local Hospital. We spent all last sunday in an emergency clinic to be told to come back at a later date for another scan. I will report back when I have more news.xx

Moving Done!!

What a week it has been!  I am exhausted and covered in bruises!

We finally got my Dad packed and moved! It was a really busy, hard weekend. It started off being orderly and organised but then my Aunt (who, by the way, has NEVER packed for a house move before)  started to help. She was doing her best and after all, we couldn't have done it all on our own, but it was just the way that things were getting thrown into random boxes. I do love my Aunt to pieces,just to let you know! The past few months,I couldnt have managed without her as she has been the one that sorted things for my Dad when he was in hospital and got things organised for when he came out. I now have the task of finding the neccesary simple everyday things - like his clothes!!

We have most boxes unpacked and the contents found a home. Some things have to be sorted out as he has no need for them anymore - he has an excess of pots, pans, double sheets and duvets. so that is next weeks job. We still have tons of stuff in our living room too. Bags and boxes of stuff to be taken to the charity shop, and that is a job we can get done this weekend.


The shed/studio is in pieces at the back of our house, waiting to be put up this weekend. Then it needs some insulation getting and putting in and then boarding out with some free plastic hoarding we can get from a factory down the road. It should all make it nice and cosy for winter working. Then finding some offcuts of carpet from somewhere and then put my bits of furniture and as much of my craft stuff as possible in there and I am ready to go.  Yay!!


It may seem shallow to some that I am so concerned about getting my studio up and running but to me, having that shed is the difference between going utterly insane and having a complete meltdown  or keeping myself on an even keel and being able to deal with everything else that life happens to want to throw at me. Somewhere I can chill, relax and get back to being me.


Hopefully, I can get some crafting done soon as I have applied to be part of a Christmas craft fayre in a local town as well as the christmas fayre that my mum-in-law has asked me to do. I have tons of ideas but no time to make anything.

Watch this space - I will keep you posted xx

Moving Date

Well, the last few weeks seem to have gone in a blur!


My Dad shocked me last month by telling me that he wants to move down here to be nearer to us. That really came out of the blue! So it has been a non-stop round of phone calls and posting letters. Application forms and Housing Assosiations and supporting letters from GPs and Social Workers!


AND BREATHE......

( I did get a week off when we went to Cornwall for our hols)

.........AND CONTINUE


We found a flat in a block that is sheltered accomodation. All self-contained one bedroom units. It has lovely gardens, right by the river and it also has a communal lounge downstairs where the residents get together and have quizzes, fish and chip lunches, movie nights etc. The Warden is a wonderful Lady. She has been really helpful with all the paperwork that we need to fill in (again).



And we now have a moving-in date! In just two weeks, my Dad will be moved in - even if we have to shove him and his stuff in with a shoehorn! The real hard work starts now though. Organising a van to move his stuff in, contacting District Nurses and Social Workers, him giving his notice for where he is now, changing addresses for his bank and post office account, getting carpets and getting them fitted...... the list goes on and on!


BUT... I am getting a shed out of all this! A big(ish) shed that will become my Art Studio! We have decided (i will rephrase that, Husband-of-mine has decided) where it will go. He will put it up and I will get some 'stuff' (very technical term, that is!)and insulate it as we get damn cold winters round here( 'twill also keep spiders out of the dark corners).

So, once I get my Dad in and settled properly, we will get the shed/studio sorted and I will have my own little place to work in - if I get the chance!

Dad

As usual, it has been a few months since I was last here!

I have been having trouble getting in the crafting groove really. Horrid family news. My wonderful Dad is very ill. Not that you would know now, to look at him. He has just come out of hospital, after spending 6/7 weeks in there. Sadly he has been diagnosed with Cancer. He is not strong enough to have any kind of treatment, it is only palliative care from now. His consultant has told me that he may only have a couple of months left, and we don't know if he knows this himself. so we are trying to spend as much time with him as we can.

He can be a stubborn swine at times, so we have to try hard to make sure he takes better care of himself than he did before and that he eats better and stays off the beer - oh, and takes his flamin' medication at the right time, not just when he feels like taking it!

so with all this trekking up and down the motorway every weekend, i have had to find something reasonably portable to carry with me in the car. So, I decided to have a root around my stash of cross stitch kits (I could start my own shop, really I could!). And I found one that had already been started - for the Queens Golden Jubilee! TEN YEARS AGO!

Oh, the shame!

I started it when I was pregnant with our girls and needed to be off my feet a lot. When I started it again, I remembered why I must have thrown it in the back of the pile. It took me over 3 hours the other night to do a bit that was just about 2 inches square. There are so many colour changes and complicated lines and back stitch, that I have to stop after stitching after half an hour and rest my poor tiny brain cell!

I may get it finished by the time we get to the next coronation!

I'm going now, it's time to ring my Dad, to check that he has been behaving himself since last night and that he hasn't sworn at the carers..........