Drowning

I am not sure where I am at the moment.

I feel like I am drowning in life and belongings. I have always been someone who is a bit sentimental with the past and the memories associated with 'stuff' and have always been just that couple of steps below being classified as a Hoarder. Things have always had a home and I have been able to keep it reasonably under control.

But not any more. This year has been a bad one for me. Ill health, major surgery and having to give up work has led to my Depression making a come-back big style. Add to that problems with one of the neighbours and a local farmer meant that we have a lot less money and we have lost our Allotment patch.

This may not seem much compered to problems in the rest of the world but to me, what has been happening to me is in my world and affects me every day.

So far this year, I have managed to keep the depression mostly under control but this last week, it has started to escape from its box and creep into my head and wrap itself around my legs. I don't have the black dog anymore - even he deemed me too dangerous to be around. He saw the tide coming in and knew that my feet were stuck in the quicksand. And now that tide is slowly rising up to my chest and starting to suffocate me and the more I struggle, the faster I sink down.

I have so much stuff that I don't know where to start - so I don't bother.